Jerry Timms

This will be a short post…just making note of my new workout routine in preparation for the White Party in Palm Springs in April. I’ve been working out with Daren and Jerry for the last week at Jerry’s complex gym. The plan is to lift and run 5 days a week. Let me tell you, yeaterday was shoulders and I’m getting pretty sore right about now. I’m also on a diet that borders on being an eating disorder. Ha. No but seriously, I’m having fun working out again and I think I’ll be in much better shape in a few weeks.

I worked at Starbucks today, and enjoyed getting out of the house for a morning/afternoon. I’m learning some new software that I purchased this morning, and I think it will really help with my current project. I got a “business” call from Rich Brown this morning, and that was pretty wild since we’re working with the same client now! But I’m so glad that he’s there now, because I can rest a little easier knowing that part of my project is in his hands.

I don’t know what it is about AZ88 in Scottsdale - but every time I go there, there is a bit of convergence involved. By that I mean that there are people in the party who haven’t met each other before that night. In fact, I don’t think I can remember ever having been there where I had previously known everyone in my party.

At about 9pm I met Rich, Justin, Mark, Andrea, Jerry and Daren for an evening of strong drinks, sub-par food, and fun conversation. It’s no secret that I don’t particularly like AZ88 for various reasons, but I still had fun nonetheless because of the company.

After dinner and a few drinks, we headed to Burn Nighclub in downtown Phoenix for a few more drinks and some dancing. I realized how much I had missed Mark and Andrea, as they are some of the nicest people I’ve ever met. DJ Jeremy was good, but we all agreed that he wasn’t as good as last week.

Justin, Andrea, Rich and Mark at Burn Nightclub

Today I’m getting a bit of a late start, because I did the afternoon nap thing, and now I feel like I’ve been asleep for 16 hours even though it’s only been a total of about 8. I have a lot of work to do today for one of my clients, so I’m not sure if I’ll get to writing about something that has been on my mind for the last few days. I also need to work out with Jerry and Daren at about 7. I think I might work from Starbucks tomorrow, I’m feeling a little couped up in this house…

Well today I am so sore from my Thursday workout, that I pretty much feel like I narrowly survived a horrible train wreck. I did some shopping at Target, and almost felt like I needed one of those chairs. Last week I started one of Jerry’s vigorous workout routines - and the plan is to meet Sun-Thurs for a daily jog and lift. With my treadmill phobia sufficiently conquered, I feel pretty good about this plan.

I went out for a night of drinking and craziness with Jerry and Daren, and it was an interesting diversion from the typical Burn routine that I’ve been on. Since Jerry and Daren are both straight, and Daren isn’t quite as cosmopolitan as Jerry is, we decided to stick with straight bars. So we started out by taking a cab to Bikini Lounge, local authentic tiki bar with an interesting beatnik hipster crowd.

Me, Daren and Jerry sharing a pitcher of Pabst Blue Ribbon at Bikini Lounge

We had a couple pitchers, joked around and made fun of the DJ a bit, then called our next cab to take us to Sky Lounge downtown.

Sky Lounge is right next door to Burn, and as far as I knew this was suppose to be straight. Well, when we paid our cover and went inside, Daren instantly knew something was up when he pointed out a couple guys grinding on the dance floor. I thought hmm, this must be a very accepting crowd. Well no sooner than 30 seconds after we got upstairs (it was only 18+ no drinking downstairs) we quickly realized that tonight was primarily a gay and lesbian latin crowd. I had to laugh when Daren turned to me and said “you realize I am SO far out of my element right now.” Always a good sport, Daren politely enjoyed his first gay club experience (and possibly his first latin club experience). To really appreciate the irony of this, I should point out that Daren was watching Fox News before we left to go out tonight.

This is pretty much how Daren looked for the duration of our stay at Sky Lounge

As we were all getting pretty lit up, I found a guy to dance with, Jerry danced with the guy’s girl friend, and a great time was had by all. After several more rounds of beer to calm Daren’s nerves, we left the club and got in a bike taxi for an odd ride back to Jerry’s apartment complex.

In our bike taxi…at this moment you can see Daren’s reaction to my comment about posting these pictures on my blog

After getting back to Jerry’s, Jerry and I decided to wrap up the night with a few more poorly mixed drinks and some reflective discussion starting with Wednesday’s allegorical post about what’s going with me these days. Jerry related a few things as well, and the rest of the night was spent being sick over those very, very poorly mixed drinks.

Ok kids, I’ve found the most amazing album ever. It’s a few years old, and I’ve already heard some of the songs on here before, but…wow. I’m sitting here listening to it on my Bose Soundock. The music is filling the room, massaging every bit of my body and mind. Absolutely amazing.

The first time I heard it all the way through was this morning as I was starting my day. The tracks on this album are so masterfully mixed that I actually started bawling, several times…

I think I could still be happy if all I owned was this album. When I die, I want to be cremated, and have my ashes scattered in front a speaker playing this very loudly. Tibetan monks will meditate and train their minds for years, with that hope that they may someday know only a tiny fraction of the happiness that I have experienced today. I would include a sample MP3 for you to download, but I’m afraid that I may rupture the space-time-continuum by allowing you to try to play such gorgeous and divine sound through the tiny speaker in your computer.

The solution to the violence in Iraq is not 20,000 more troops, it is this album. After this album was played for the first time, the hole in the ozone layer mysteriously vanished. Neitzsche was right indeed…God is dead, and in His place is…

Ok enough of that, I have to go get a haircut.

Last night I was Burn with Rich and Justin. We had a great time, and the set from DJ Jeremy was fantastic. Several times, we would mention to each other how good the music was - and how it was better than any previous week we could remember. The BPM flow was perfect, and we stayed on the middle of the packed dance floor all night.

Phil and Justin at Burn in Phoenix

We ran into my neighbor Phil, which was nice because we always have fun with him. Unfortunately his equally-fun boyfriend Jeff didn’t make it out, and we teased Phil about kidnapping him in April to take him to the White Party. After Burn closed (they still don’t have after-hours), I went back to Justin and Rich’s for some more music and thoughtful discussion.

So that’s the summary of the evening’s events, and now on to the meat of this post…

I’m realizing just how much I’ve missed something, and that’s to have a close group of gay friends. It may sound silly, but as an avid watcher of QAF throughout the years, I was always a bit envious of these characters and their circle of friends. Now I am pretty close to feeling like I may have that.

This is not to slight my other best friends in any way, and this is what’s going to make this post a bit difficult to explain. My best friends have always been straight. They are terrific, perfect, and I wouldn’t give them up for anything. That being said, there is always (and maybe will always be) a bit of negotiation and capitulation when it comes to social plans and agendas. For the most part, things work out just fine. But sometimes things are just a little awkward. And there are some things that are a bit more impossible to negotiate.

(On a side note, I’m looking out the window right now and it’s actually snowing outside. Seriously, there are snowflakes falling on my patio…wtf? Just called Jerry and he confirmed it’s snowing at his place, too.)

For example, I have always wanted to go on a gay cruise. Now Jerry is my best friend, and we do a lot of things together…but he is just not going to go on a gay cruise with me, and I honestly wouldn’t expect him to. Same thing with circuit parties…I have offered, but he is just not interested in going. I think he capitulates quite a bit when it comes to going out to gay bars and whatnot, but some things are just too gay (and to be realistic, maybe inappropriate) for him.

I think you see where I’m going with this. And we all know that if he gets married and has kids…well, that carries a 99% chance of total social death. He doesn’t seem to think he will, but I think that he is not destined to live as parallel a life to his uncle as he currently thinks he is. Honestly, I don’t think he realizes nearly all of what he has going for him. Yeah, not nearly all. But I suppose we’re all on a personal path to discovering these things, and it comes in time. Certainly, the right person or people eventually come along to help show us.

I think I’m treading dangerously into the territory of over-analysis, as I often tend to do, but I think I’ve gotten some things off my chest. I just want you all to know what is foremost on my mind right now…and that’s how much I value all of my friends, and the various roles that they play in my life.

Well, I’ve done it, I moved my blog from Myspace to Blogger! I am finally free of the Myspace bubble, free to break out into the internet on my own and see what happens next. Although it may take a couple more days to move all of my old posts to this site, most of the work is essentially done. The hardest part was actually getting my subdomain hooked up - but once I did, the setup was fairly straightforward. You’ll probably see me messing around with the design over the next few weeks until I come up with something I can handle for awhile.

If you’re new here, I hope to chat with you soon. Some of my posts will be boring, some exciting…but one thing’s for sure, that there can never be too many spoiled and politically disenchanted gay bloggers! Oh, wait…

This morning I got an unexpected call from a core member. It seems this member thought I was mad at them, or wished them some sort of ill will, because I mentioned one of their past significant others - and how I had contacted this person to say hi on myspace. This was surprising to me, because I certainly would never be mad at this person, and certainly would not do something like this to make a point with them. I felt terrible! In fact, I thought the conversation last weekend around this was more funny than anything - but I guess that I horribly misjudged how this was going to be perceived. It was seen as mean-spirited, and I’m sorry for that.

I explained that I am online almost all of the time - and if I contact someone, or research someone, it’s not to make a point - it’s just one of the things that I do for fun. I try not to take anything seriously online, but some do (or don’t know exactly what to make of some things), and I should remain conscious of that.

We made amends, and talked about some other things. It seems the core get together on Saturday was a bit odd for everyone - and so I’d like to challenge everyone to blog about it. Not naming names, of course. But something was amiss all around. Was it because we skipped a month? Was it because we’re a bit burned out from the holidays? Was it because some of us quit smoking and don’t know how to relate to each other without cigs in our hands? Or, was it because we have so much empathy for each other that a problem with one or 2 of us becomes a problem for all of us?

One of you told me that I looked uncomfortable/quiet because we were in straight Scottsdale locations…you may be right about that. I certainly prefer to be in a more relaxed environment, and for me that usually means a gay or mixed environment. But you actually got so uncomfortable and quiet during a conversation that we had, that I felt a bit uncomfortable myself. Why is that?

Time to spill, core members.

(For those of you who don’t know, the “core” is me and 3 of my friends. I’m the newest addition to this group, but we have all known each other for at least about 10 years - the other 3 have known each other for longer than that. We get together at least once per month for a planned dinner/activity/boozefest, and we rotate who gets to choose the activity and venue. There are various other rules and traditions that I won’t bore you with, but these are the basics.)

So today I’m recovering a bit from a wild weekend with all my friends. 3 days, 3 groups of friends, and 3 different types of venues.

Friday Jerry and I went to Palazzo for Tranzylvania. After a surpisingly short and cheap cab ride, we got our drink on, listened to some music, and I took part in some traditional tai chi stalking. The crowd was much better than the last time we’d been here, when the whole scene seemed like a bad b-movie remake of the actual Tranzylvania experience.

Saturday was the core event with Jerry, Vicky and Deanna. Although we planned to go to Cafe Blue in Scottsdale, it was surpisingly shut down when we got there. So, we decided to go to Furio instead and walked in at just the right time, when the party before us had cancelled their table. We had a nice dinner and some pitchers of sangria and margaritas. After dinner, and some decadent chocolate fondue, we went to the bar at the valley Ho for fireside drinks and chat.

Vicky, Jerry, Deanna and Me at Furio in Scottsdale

Sunday was DJ Brett Henrichsen at Burn Nightclub, with Rich and Justin. While Phoenix certainly hasn’t become part of the party circuit yet, it was certainly nice to see a real DJ come to our new dance club. There were maybe about 100 people or less in attendance, and I could tell that Brett was a bit disappointed - but hey, we had a great time! After about 4 hours of dancing, I headed out with Justin and new local VIP celebrity Rich Brown.

Me and Rich at Burn Nightclub in downtown Phoenix

DJ Brett Henrichsen. Sorry the picture is so dark, but trust me he is incredibly hot and talented and I hope to meet him at a future event!

Something happened before I left for my holiday LA trip. I didn’t report it to anyone because I didn’t think of it as being significant, but this morning it has me concerned. The daffodils have bloomed outside my office window, and they are still blooming.

You may not think this is odd…but what you have to understand is that daffodils bloom in the spring. You plant them in the fall, and they bloom in the spring after the temp has significantly warmed up. By my calculation, these bloomed on or around 12/22/06…and still have quite vigorous blooms on them

Something else has happened, and I’m not sure if this is related or not. Usually, I have a winter lawn planted so that my lawn is green in the winter (most of us Arizonans do this, yes it’s insane). Well this year I had it planted, but it’s really not growing that great…in fact it looks almost stunted. Landscaper still comes every other week to mow it (usually winter lawns grow really fast and there is much grass to cut), but it’s grown barely a half an inch each time he comes. Even though it was planted probably 6 weeks ago, it looks like it was planted last week.

I’m reading stories on the internet about cherry trees blooming on the east coast, 70 degree temps in Central Park, ski resorts unable to open…and of course the opposite extreme weather in places like Denver. Everything seems out of whack. Is anyone else getting concerned? I know we have always been somewhat concerned about climate change - but anyone else getting really concerned?

My frozen daffodils

I just returned from an extended trip to California, and that drive home just never gets any easier! I had an amazing time with some Phoenix and California friends, and just wanted to say thanks and I love you guys - you know who you are Also, looking forward to the core event in 2 weeks with Phoenix friends I couldn’t be with for the holidays. Happy New Year, everyone!

Christmas 12252006

NYE LA 12312006

Me, Justin, Philip, Tony, Dallas Justin and Kendall at The Abbey in WeHo

Hmm, now I was gonna go on and on about my plans for 2007. Then I decided not to. Let me just say that I’m not wanting to change anything radically about myself this year - several changes have already been recently made. What you will see this year are the effects from that growth…the effects from losing just a little more fear…and I expect it will be quite an exciting 2007, with lots to blog about!

I had a long time to think in the car tonight, and coming down from the kind of weekend I had is very conducive to some serious introspective thought.

When I look back on my adult life, I can identify 4 main stages I’ve passed through. Stage 5 starts now.

The whole gang at Philip’s place in Santa Monica