Jerry Timms

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Love is in the air this spring, and as I look around I see so many cherished friends who are either beginning new relationships or strengthening the ones they have. Whether it’s getting to know someone new, getting reaquainted with someone old, or making commitments you never thought possible…you are an inspiration that hasn’t gone unnoticed.

I know that some of you are struggling with letting go. Reconciling old feelings is a painful thing to do, but it is a prerequisite for accepting new love into your life. Take every loss and weave it into what’s next in store for you…I do not believe our experiences are purely random, and neither do you.

Cheers, and may new love forever make you stronger and happier!

I installed some floating shelves in my bedroom, which was no small feat because there are only about 2 walls in my entire house that are real walls. The rest of the walls are thick adobe, and it’s pretty much impossible to hang anything heavy on them…the walls are literally over a foot thick of solid dirt. Weird, because my house doesn’t look adobe, but I guess it is. So I actually partially rearranged my room so that I could hang these shelves on the “drywall” wall, with the proper wall anchors.

I potted some tiny banana trees in small white pots, and placed them on the shelves thinking they’d be ok. Honestly, they looked gorgeous! Well, I should have known something was wrong with the third shelf as I was installing it, because one of the wall anchors cracked the drywall and it didn’t feel 100% sturdy.

Yesterday afternoon was a fantastic lunch with Mr. X, and last night I had a great time with Mark and Andrea, Rich and Justin, neighbor Phil, Nathan and Brian, and Rusty. But when I got home last night, what did I find in my bedroom? A disturbing scene of broken glass, broken white pot, ripped up drywall, and a disempotted banana tree laying on the floor like it was gasping for moisture…dirt everywhere. That’s right, the third shelf didn’t hold up. So this afternoon I’m gradually cleaning up the mess, fixing the drywall, and luckily I was able to save the banana tree by planting it in the front yard just outside the front door.

My point? I’m not so sure I want to move to L.A. anymore.

Ok, so date with Mr. X tonight. I had to reschedule to tonight from last night because I was still sick. And in case you’re wondering, yes this is still the same Mr. X that I started writing about back in October! Except I’d call him Mr. X 2.0, because there’s definitely something different about him now…I like it.

In answer to the previous topic, yes I think this was a date. It was a nice dinner and drinks, lasted about 4 hours, and we do have tentative plans for the next night out. Granted, just being able to define this as a date doesn’t mean it’s going anywhere. We could still end up being nothing but friends, and that would still be a good outcome.

I actually just found it really refreshing to talk to someone for awhile who shares a lot of my relationship and friendship philosophy. It’s also always nice to hang out with someone who you can talk to for hours and not get bored. I only have a few friends I can do that with. For the most part we actually seemed to pick up the conversation right where we left off at the White Party.

Oh, and he’s still hot.

So, there you go. That’s about all the details you get until maybe after the weekend.

Well I’m actually feeling a bit under the weather today, as I developed a sinus infection after my allergy episode on Saturday. I woke up all congested with a headache and fever, so I went to the doctor this morning and got some antibiotics…so hopefully I’ll be all better in just a couple days. This is actually my third sinus infection in about 6 months, and my doctor says I should start taking daily allergy medicine until the season is over. I’ve had these allergies ever since I was a little kid, and it’s kind of annoying dealing with this every year.

Ironically, I have a date planned on Wednesday, so I hope I really do recover quickly. At least I think it’s a date, I’m not really sure anymore. I think I did my best to set it up as such, but that hasn’t really worked out very well for me for the last year…everything just sort of turns out to be a casual thing. I figure I can either sit here and analyze the meaning of text messages all day, or just go out and have a good time, whatever it happens to be! I chose the latter.

It’s been interesting lately to talk to my friends about relationships, dating and sex. They all have such different ideas about each. I’m not sure how I would categorize myself now, but I know that I lean a lot more toward the more traditional relationship ideal. I like courtship, dating, and monogamy. But I don’t want to be that couple that plays board games on the weekend and falls asleep at 10pm. I still want to go out, travel, attend parties, and socialize with friends every week.

My fear has been that maybe what I want isn’t really possible…but I’m starting to learn that a lot of things are possible if you believe that you deserve them. And I do know what I’m looking for…it’s not impossible to find - but not exactly easy, either.

Saturday afternoon was spent at the Phoenix pride festival with Mark and Andrea, Rich, Justin, Philip and Rob. What started out as a fun afternoon unfortunately turned fairly miserable for me because I had an awful athsma and allergy attack from the dust. Mental note to get on the daily allergy meds now that it’s summer.

Andrea and Rich

Mark and Philip

Justin and Rob

After the festival, I took a quick nap at home and then headed to the Icehouse to meet everyone for the Adonis Party…

…where I was greeted by this fantastic laser show. DJ Tony Moran was spinning, although there were very few people here at the time - probably about 10pm. So I wandered around for a bit, being reminded of last year, and soon ran into Mike, Nate and Brian.

We grabbed some drinks while waiting for the rest of the gang to get there, and when they did we eventually ended up on the dance floor to enjoy the music.

Brian and Rob

At midnight we were treated to a performance by the original Village People, which was actually better than I thought it would be. Although it was odd because I couldn’t help thinking I was looking at more of an historical artifact than entertainment. But they did teach us how to properly do the YMCA dance…and I found that I have been actually doing the “M” wrong, who knew?

The Village People

Me and Mike

We continued dancing until 4am, and everyone seemed to have a really good time. I was fairly deep in thought for most of the night since Pride often makes me think a little more critically about my life, my friends and relationships. The enemy of Pride is self-doubt, and so Pride becomes about so much more than just living proudly as a gay man. There are an assortment of things that can cause self-doubt, and many of us never properly confront those things to conquer them. And so this weekend is just one of many in what is shaping up to be a year of great positive change for me, and I’m truly proud of what I’ve accomplished and will continue to accomplish with the support of everyone.

Thursday I intended to get back to my workout program with Daren and Jerry, after taking a few days off after White Party to make sure my body properly recovers from the excitement of the weekend. But I decided at the last minute to take an extra day off, and instead headed out with Jerry and Daren for some drinks and adventure.

Jerry and Daren wanted to go to “The Armadillo” but I protested on account of a) that it’s a restaurant, and b) the last time I dove by the place they were advertising their “World Famous Fried Pickles.” Ha, I’m sure they’ll leave comments trying to convince me that it’s not a restaurant…but it is. The last few times they tried taking me to restaurant dive bars I have been less than pleased (yes I’m a little picky and stuck in my ways when it comes to night time drink venues), so I tried to spice things up by offering a night at Burn for the new Club Mistress event. After hearing the words “lesbian S&M” Jerry quickly agreed and we were on our way.

Upon passing Burn, we noted that there wasn’t much of a crowd yet, so we decided to go to “The Irish Bar” for a couple beers first.

Daren at Seamus McCaffrey’s pretending the stains in the ceiling aren’t there

After a couple beers and Jerry and Daren’s game of video bowling, we walked down to Burn. Burn was moderately attended for a Thursday, and after sharing some weekend stories with Angela some of the entertainment began.

See Daren, you shouldn’t have left early!

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On Friday night, Philip and Rob got in town for pride weekend. Rob is the super nice guy that I met last weekend at the White Party, known to the rest of the gang since their trip to Montreal last year, who lives in London right now. So I went out with Rob, Philip, Rich and Justin to Burn again for drinks. We met up with Bruce and Tracy, and Mike and Nate for some casual talk, dancing and drinks.

Rob and Tracy

Mike and Nate

Rich

Justin, Travis and Philip

For the After-Burn, we went to Charlie’s for some dancing and pigging out on super nachos grande delux and carne asada burritos from the taco cart. As is typical with Charlie’s, the evening was a little awkward between confrontations with drunk queens and when I was slammed in the eye by the hat bill of a drunk mess plowing into the bathroom. Odd energy lives at Charlie’s, and I have no idea why I keep going back. Eh, live and learn.

So now it’s offiicially Pride weekend in Phoenix, and we’ll be headed out to the Adonis Party tonight at the Icehouse venue in downtown Phoenix. Interesting to note that my attendance at this party last year immediately precluded a breakup with my last boyfriend. I actually went last year by myself. So I’m glad that this year things are under different curcumstances, and I know I’ll have a good time with friends.

Well I’m pleased to report that Chapter 5 is starting out nicely, and so the countdown begins for my trip to One Mighty Weekend, June 1-3 in Orlando.

Benefitting the Elton John AIDS Foundation, One Mighty Weekend is one of the largest parties on the circuit. We’re going up a little early so that we can also go to Disneyworld for a day before the party starts.

Some of the events are at theme park venues such as Disney’s Typhoon Lagoon and the Disney MGM Studios, and so far it looks like Kathy Griffin is confirmed for a guest performance. The main event is at the Hard Rock Live concert venue at Universal Studios CityWalk. If you’re interested you can read more at www.OneMightyWeekend.com.

Read more posts on this site labeled “One Mighty Weekend”

Sometimes I think people get so busy, or so wrapped up in their own intentions, that they loose sight of the things they already have around them. I’m slowly realizing that I haven’t been paying attention to the love that’s around me from friends and family. But, I’m getting better at it…and I’m finding that love exists in places that I never expected, and in places where I thought it wasn’t very strong. And sometimes in places that I never thought possible.

I don’t think that we can find this love unless we’re open to it. For so long I tried to define criteria for it, or definitions of it…but really all it takes is finally being in a position to want it and receive it, and then you know it’s there. I’ve heard people say that they need to achieve certain goals, improve themselves in different ways or whatever before they want to date or have more friends. But those are really just all excuses. All you need to do is want it and believe that you deserve it, and it’s there.

That’s all, just something to think about.

I’ve returned tonight from my weekend in Palm Springs, and I have to say that it really was the Spring Break that I always wished I’d had - not to mention one of the best times ever. So thanks to everyone who spent time with me and I look forward to seeing you again soon!

Like any worthwhile endeavor I took away something much greater than what was expected…lessons in friendship, love, pride and strength. If you haven’t been to the White Party then I recommend that you go the next chance you get!

This is us before we headed down to the Basic Training party on Friday night. Bernard and Tony weren’t in town yet becase of a flight delay.

Me at Basic Training, a military themed dance that was at the hotel. 3 of the weekend parties were at the hotel, which made it very convenient since we didn’t have to walk far, and because for 2 of those parties we had the option of going up to the room and coming back down for re-entry.

Standing on our balcony before going to the Saturday pool party that was starting right below our room. It was impossible for us to want to sleep in, because the whole hotel was shaking with the bass of the dance music outside. Well, that and the fact that Rich was running around the room screaming “pool party!” like a little girl who just woke up on Christmas morning!

The view from our balcony. We really enjoyed the music and gawking at the celebrities and familiar faces. It was fun to dance outside under the sun!

All of us before going to the convention center for the White Party on Saturday. Luckily the convention center was actually attached somewhat to our hotel, so we didn’t have to walk far!

View of the White Party from the VIP deck. There were some amazing shows, and it even snowed! There was a reappearance of the original Mr. X here, and I have to say that dancing with him under the lights and the snow really made this night and the rest of the weekend even better. More on this another time!

There were some really creative costumes, and these were my favorite.

One of the stage shows. None of them actually made any sense to me…like this peacock woman riding a horse with Mayans in the background, or Kelis…but they all looked really cool!

Photo of DJ Brett Henrichsen from behind the DJ tower at the White Party. Back at the hotel at the after-hours party he was somehow suddenly dancing right next to us on the dance floor, so I introduced myself to him and we chatted about his Phoenix show at Burn.

The dance floor and stage that were set up at a local park for the Sunday T-Dance. We danced outside under the canopy, and saw performances by Jody Watley and Idina Menzel. The highlight was the best fireworks show I’ve ever seen, synced to dance music.

A dancer at the Closing Party on Sunday night. We all agreed that this was our favorite party of the weekend, because the music was amazing and the lighting and laser shows were really impressive. We danced until 4am!

The quality on this video is not fantastic, but it should give you an idea of what it felt like to be in the party…

Rosabel was DJing, and I could tell that we were in for a spectacular night because there were actually 6 or 7 DJs and lighting experts in the front of the room all with their heads down busily working behind computers and turntables…by their expressions you’d think they were launching a missile. The room was really hot with all the energy, and everyone was sweating and having the time of their lives dancing to the tribal house music.

One thing that remained constant throughout the weekend was the music…and oddly we all remarked that the beat was the same wherever we went, like the BPMs had been purposefully set the same for all the shows and parties, provising a perfect continuous soundtrack for the weekend. Which really makes it interesting to note how important music and dancing is to me and my peer group lately, and the role that I think it’s playing in my life…but that’s for another day!

Since I probably won’t be blogging again for several days, I’ll end this series by saying farewell for now…I’ll be in Palm Springs this weekend experiencing the Spring Break that I always wish I’d had! I’ll take lots of pictures for you. Until then I’ll give you this glimpse of the fabulous Wyndham resort where I’ll be staying with Rich, Justin, Philip and Bernard, and the enormous parties that await us…