I love breakfast!

29 02 2008

Pancakes

This might seem like kind of a retarded post, but a feature story in this month’s Details magazine has reminded me about how much I love breakfast. It’s kind of ironic, because morning is my least favorite time of day. But I love every kind of breakfast food, and the fact that I’m never up (or hungry) in the morning means I hardly ever get to eat breakfasty things anymore.

I remember when I was a kid that my family would often go out to eat pancakes on Sundays. I looked forward to it all the time, and sometimes it was all that would get me through mass…just thinking about that melted butter and warm syrup. Or sometimes on Saturdays, or Sundays when we skipped chiurch, my dad would bring donuts home (he was a cop, and yes he ate donuts all the time). I’d eat my donuts at the table while smelling my dad’s delicious coffee with cream and sugar all mixed in (he would let me taste it sometimes, and it never tasted as good as it smelled).

During the week my mom would cook either cereal (Cream of Wheat), eggs or toaster waffles for breakfast, although I was never hungry enough that early in the morning to really enjoy it. It was kind of ridiculous how early school started, and I could almost throw up right now just thinking about it. Although at some point I started realizing that most of my friends didn’t have moms that cooked them breakfast every morning, and then I started enjoying it a little more.

Sometimes when my dad was working the night shift, which was pretty often when I was younger, my mom would make scrambled egg sandwiches for dinner. She’d always make easy things like that when my dad wasn’t eating with us, and we’d eat in the living room while watching tv. Eventually it was just my mom and me on Friday nights…my older sister was just old enough to be out with friends and my dad would be working, and so I have these memories of hanging out with my mom with these scrambled egg sandwiches and watching a cheesy miniseries on tv. And of course staying up late until whatever we were watching was over.

It’s funny because I started this post by thinking I was just going to go on stupidly about how much I like pancakes and other high carb early delights, but now all these great childhood memories are coming flooding back. I suppose there are a lot of emotions I have tied in with breakfast, possibly more so than with any other food, and now it all makes a little more sense.





The Grand Canyon

19 07 2007

Last weekend I went to the Grand Canyon with my parents, whom I haven’t seen since Christmas. They came out to Phoenix on Thursday, we went to Williams on Friday, and took the Grand Canyon Railway to the Grand Canyon on Saturday. On our way back to Phoenix on Sunday we stopped at the Grand Canyon Caverns for a quick tour. We rounded out the visit with a tour of Chase Field on Monday, after which my parents left to go back to California.

Overall I’d say it was a nice visit, and was good to talk a little bit with my parents, show them some pictures of my recent travels and discuss the things I’ve been up to. I’ve never been to the Grand Canyon before, even though I’ve lived in the Phoenix area for almost 13 years, and it’s something that I’d recommend seeing once. It’s nice once in awhile to be reminded that there are things out there far older, greater, and mysterious than us. I was motivated to write a much longer post on this and related ideas when I returned from the trip, but for now I think I’ll just leave it at that.





I’m ready for a party!

12 07 2007

There’s really no other way to put this: I’m ready for a party! More specifically, I’m thinking about San Diego Pride coming up next weekend, and the closing party with Rosabel. They did the closing party at the White Party in Palm Springs, and it was just absolutely amazing. I could swear that crack was coming out of those speakers.

This weekend, however, my parents are coming to town for a weekend visit and trip to the Grand Canyon. I’m really looking forward to it because I haven’t been able to spend very much time with them lately. Even during the holidays it seemed that everything was really focused around my sister and new nephew – which is expected and justified, it just feels like it’s been a really long time since any member of my family has really asked me how I’m doing or what I’ve been up to. So maybe this weekend I’ll get a chance to share some of that with them.

Actually very few people ever ask me those type of questions, and I guess that’s the whole reason for me starting this blog. If nobody is going to ask, then I will tell them – and the rest of the world, too! It’s quite satisfying, actually – for someone who has a lot to say to have this type of forum for saying it.

Which brings me to a discussion I had with Rich and Justin tonight about the unchartered social waters of blog association and disclosure. Rich has decided to include a little more description in his blog about his personal life, and not everyone is as comfortable with those details as he is – or being associated so closely with stories that they would not choose to be a part of. In the end he will decide what to do about this, and I will be interested to see how the whole thing plays out. Unchartered waters…I mean how many people used to publish their diaries and distribute the copies to thousands of people every week? This is all new.





Part fun, part respite, and part duty

23 12 2006

I almost forgot what it was like, this yearly event called the “holidays.” So far I’ve partaken in the fun part….that is, I’ve slacked off ever so slightly at work and spent gobs of money at the mall (for others AND myself). Now, I’m sitting in my office, drinking some coffee, and mentally preparing myself for the final part – the family visit. This is the part I almost forgot about.

I love my parents. They are still together after like 36 years, and they are about the most supportive parents you can imagine. After I came out to them about a year and a half ago, we are much closer. I don’t have to censor my conversation anymore, or be afraid they’re going to ask me if I’m dating. Coming out was anticlimactic, and I was a complete idiot for waiting so long.

A magazine article that I read recently did a pretty good job of describing the family relationships of American gay men…”In our 20’s and 30’s, that distance grows larger as gay men join the upwardly mobile class of their peers, carving out individualistic identities based on economic consuption (and, often, some kind of therapy) before finally beginning the lengthy process of reconciling with our parents.”

Well…check, check, and check.

This year’s visit feels a little different…for the first time, I’m coming home as an adult. I can finally (last year things were still at an awkward stage) relate some of my adult dating experiences, and stories of my friends. I can speak of love and politics from an adult’s perspective, and not as some adolescent who’s yet to experience real things in romance and battle.

This year’s visit feels a little different…because I’m broken. I’ve chosen not to extensively share some things, because I’m still dealing with them, and things have moved to a more personal space of healing. Many of you know the things that have happened with me this year…but none of you really know how they are still affecting me. As far as you can see, life goes on with Jerry Timms…if you’re really observant, you’d know it hasn’t – not completely anyway. It is what it is. Things break us down, then make us stronger. Maybe we’ll talk about it more sometime.

And finally, this year’s visit feels a little different…because I’m in control. I have set the expectation that I will arrive on the day that I choose, leave when I’m ready, and not tolerate anything I’m uncomfortable with (see future post on my extended family). I’m only spending half (or less!) of the week with my family, then I will be leaving promptly for LA to spend a few days and New Year’s Eve with some friends.

The visit to California will be part fun, part respite, and part duty. It always is. Only this year the proportions of each are changing.