Jerry Timms

Since Jerry was going to be in Las Vegas for a week, I decided to fly down for a couple days so we could hang out. This was just a few days after I got back from New York, so it was a busy week! I’m glad I did because we had a pretty good time. Here are some pictures and stories.

The first night we got some pizza at New York, New York and then spent a long time walking up and down the strip checking out all the sights and having a few drinks.

It was kind of cool to be able to see the real New York, and the Las Vegas version in one week!

I tried about a million camera settings to get this picture to work!

So for clubbing we settled on Studio 54, which turned out to be kind of a strange crowd. I was glad to see that they still had the trapeze show, but the music was kind of hip-hoppy, and there weren’t many people there. Definitely not what we had in mind, although we did have several more drinks.

Here’s Jerry thinking, “Hmm, I think I’ll throw Jerry’s shirt into a tree later.”

But for afterhours we discovered the basement club at Drai’s, and had a good time dancing for the rest of the night/morning. The next day I had to work from the hotel for awhile, until we got ready in the evening to go to dinner at the Wynn. Afterwards, we met some celebrities…

We wrapped up the evening with some clubbing at Piranha, where Jerry got hit on yet again by a disenfranchised lesbian (not Whoopi, another one), and drove back to Phoenix the next morning.

Welcome back! I’ve only been gone a little over a week, but a lot has happened since we last left off. The most obvious change is the new website, and I’m really excited to have a new site I can grow into with new sections of content.

The Governors Mansion has been put up for sale. I’ve had an itch lately to move closer downtown where I can walk places and catch the light rail that’s happening soon in Phoenix, so I decided to take some of my own advice and stop thinking about it and just do it (you’ll realize the irony of this later). I’ve already settled on a building downtown, so now it’s just a matter of passing this gorgeous house to one lucky buyer stalker.

I’ve almost completed week three of my personal training “body transformation” program, and happy to report that I’m seeing some really good results. While the diet and meal logging, cardio and intense workout sessions have been a little inconvenient during the last few busy weeks, it’s been well worth it and I’m sleeping better and feeling good.

The diet is interesting, because it actually feels like too much food. I have to eat 6 times a day, which is hard to always remember, and I’m not even really that hungry throughout the day. Especially in the morning, when I choke down like 6 eggs plus something else that’s gonna fill my calorie requirements. And then eat 2 hours later, ha. But the end result is that even though I’m not realy trying to lose “weight” (I’m only trying to build muscle), I have actually lost 7 pounds.

I went to see Mama Mia tonight with Jerry and Melanie, Jason and Steve. Jerry and I agreed that the music was pretty good, although the story line was a bit too melodramatic for our tastes (again with the irony). But of course I realized how much I really love some of these ABBA songs, and this brought back some memories from the White Party.

When you’re gone, how can I even try to go on?

I’ve returned from San Diego Pride with my friends, and although I’m a bit exhausted today I thought I’d take some time to reflect on the weekend.

I challenged myself last weekend to start talking a little more to people I don’t know. Circuit parties are highly social events, and so I have found them to sometimes be a little intimidating. Ok, maybe really intimidating. I don’t know why I’m shy, but I just am. Now this wasn’t a new challenge, I’ve been gradually building up to this point during the course of the year, but I really gave myself an ultimatum this time that I really want to get myself over the worst part of this shyness and put that all behind me.

Luckily, it wasn’t really a challenge. I found it quite easy (both sober and not) to say hi to people, introduce myself, and make some casual conversation. Actually I’m really amazed at the number of people I met because I don’t think I’ve met that many new people in one weekend before, even at some of the larger circuit events. The primary goal of the weekend is of course to hang out with my best friends, but it was also nice to expand the social circle a bit. For once I actually remember the people from the weekend better than the music! And I think I’ve returned to Phoenix with a greater feeling of self-confidence than I’ve ever had before.

Speaking of trying new things, Jerry met me in San Diego for the closing party of the weekend, and it was a lot of fun having him there. While having drinks one night with Jerry last week, I made an offer to buy his ticket if he would come out to one of the parties with us. It turned out he had the required days off, his girlfriend was going to be out of town so he didn’t have any plans, and so he accepted. The next day I was a little afraid that he might have accepted just because we were out at the bar (aka drunk talk), but I immediately bought his ticket anyway and sent him the details of the party. It turned out he was serious about coming, and so we made plans for Sunday.

Despite initially being a little out of his element for obvious reasons, I think Jerry had a great time. He danced like a circuit boy and socialized with some of my newer friends throughout the course of the evening, hopefully getting a good taste for what these events are all about - challenging yourself, letting your guard down and meeting new people, and enjoying some great music and entertainment. It really meant a lot to me that he was willing to try out an event like this, knowing how much I enjoy them. And so whether or not he decides to do it again, at least he may understand a little bit more about what I’ve been up to, and I can tell him stories of future travels without him thinking I’m completely crazy!

So, thanks to Tony and DJ for their top notch hospitality, and thanks to new friends and best friends for spending a great weekend with me in San Diego. I couldn’t imagine life right now without you.

Friday night Jerry and I finally got Vicky to come out with us. We walked to the Arizona Center where we had dinner and wine at Uno, and then continued walking to Amsterdam afterwards for drinks. It was interesting to walk around downtown again and see the progress on the light rail. It seems like it’s almost done, but I guess there are still power lines lines to build and street and traffic direction infrastructure.

Walking on the light rail tracks down Central Avenue

When we got to Amsterdam, it was a light crowd, and Vicky even asked if it was closed down right before we went in. We found a larger crowd on the patio, and took some seats on the balcony. Jerry got awkwardly hit on by a lesbian. The vibe of Amsterdam has definitely changed since the opening of Burn, and I think it’s also being affected by the restrictive construction all around the building.

Aw, I missed Vicky!

Saturday night was Mark’s birthday dinner at Fate, where everyone had a delicious dinner but consistently disappointing martinis. One tasted like a margharita pizza (with tomato juice and basil) and one tasted like lemon pledge (with fresh ginger juice). The coconut curry is still my favorite dinner there, even if it does look a little like pea soup sometimes. After Fate we went back to Mark and Andrea’s place for a bit before heading back out to Burn, where we all had jello shots and vodka drinks. Rich and Justin stalked some of the waiters and Mark got appropriately birthday-drunk. Afterwards we hung out some more at Mark and Andrea’s before calling it a late night.

Andrea, Mark, Rich and Justin at Burn

Earlier in the week, Daren and I went to Seamus McCaffrey’s for some drinks and discussed the recent developments in our dating lives. Daren is back with Phaedra, but I’m pretty much out of luck with the original Mr. X’s. As I mentioned before…one is moving away and one really doesn’t seem to be interested at all, so that’s that. There are some possibilities out there still, and I probably won’t really go into them until I see where they’re going.

Diet and working out are still going well. I really like the supplements I’m taking - all from German American Technologies, which seems to be a pretty quality brand. Me and a lot of my other friends are taking the XC4 creatine, and I’ve also been taking the Stenandiol 3.0 system. Oh, and EAS 100% whey protein shakes. Overall I think they’ve helped me put on a little more muscle, and I’m happy to report that I don’t look totally hideous in a tank top anymore.

It’s hard to take pictures of yourself!

Well I haven’t done one of those “here’s what I did last weekend” posts in awhile, so that’s where I’ll start tonight.

This last weekend was one of the first full weekends in awhile where I’ve been in town (and not preparing for some imminent trip). So friday was nice and low-key hanging out at the Governor’s Mansion with Jerry, watching some episodes of heroes and drinking beer and eating pizza.

But the highlight was certainly the discussion, catching each other up on our recent activities…my vacation to Florida and his recent courtship and dating. Jerry’s been working so much that he rarely dates, so it was interesting to hear about this girl that it seems he really likes.

Saturday I did a bunch of yardwork, cleaned the pool (found a dead pigeon in the skimmer and put myself through a little bird flu scare), and then headed to Arizona Mills for some shopping. After buying some swimsuits and eating lunch, I headed north to Scottsdale Fashion Square for some more shopping and better people watching. Seriously, it was pretty hideous at the Mills…but oddly, not much better at Fashion Square. After a call from Rich, I decided to meet him, Justin, Mark and Andrea at George & Dragon for a late dinner, beers and conversation.

Later that evening we all decided to go to Burn for more drinks and dancing. We all had a good time, and from what I remember the music was good even though we couldn’t tell who the dj was that night (not Jeremy). After closing we ended up back at Mark and Andrea’s new fabulous place in Willo, where we talked some more and I bonded with their dogs.

Sunday I hung out at the pool for awhile before going with Daren to see Jerry at work. Jerry’s restaurant is having some sort of contest to see which location can sell the most wine, so we got a bottle of wine and some burgers. Well, all that talk about wine made the three of us decide to go back to Jerry’s place to drink a couple more bottles of it and watch a movie and some TV.

We saw Little Miss Sunshine. Although I was prepared to hate it (OK, Andrea!) I found it really interesting. Everyone in this family battles with some sort of failure, and if you get caught up in that then it would probably be a pretty depressing movie. But the most interesting character is actually this old yellow VW Bus. To get it going past second gear they all have to get outside of it and push really fast, and when it gets to third gear (I think? the explanation was a bit convoluted) then they all have to run alongside the thing and jump in. Sometimes pulled in.

They do this alot, because they take the Bus to California so this little girl can realize her dream of being in a beauty pageant. Everyone confronts their failures and insecurities along the way, blah blah. Family always pulls together, blah.

But I started thinking about that Bus, and thought it was actually a really beautiful metaphor for all of us and how sometimes in life we just find ourselves going nowhere and need the help of our friends and family to push us forward, and then get back on for the ride. Ugh, cheesy I know.

Well, this week I’m planning on getting a lot of work done. I’m also organizing the house…today was vitamin day. I’m a total supplement whore, and decide to clean out all the crap that I don’t even use. Tomorrow evening I’m cleaning out the pantry and then going out to dinner with Mr. X. You see how I just slipped that in there?

I just found out that Justin has a blog. Actually, he’s been blogging since May which is really creepy because it’s like he’s been undercover this whole time. Rich decided he’s gonna start writing a little more detail of his personal life and it’s pretty interesting. Both of their links are over there —->

I met with CPA today, and taxes for last year weren’t nearly as bad as I thought they’d be. In fact, I saved a little too much reserve to pay them. So, maybe I’ll buy a TV.

Last night was our UFC Core party at Vicky’s house where we drank, ate, and watched the homoerotic spectacle known as UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship) on pay-per-view. We also got a chance to see Jason and meet some of the members of Vicky’s secret social group.

Honestly? It seems gay just to watch this UFC stuff. I have no idea what the straight people get out of watching nearly naked guys rolling around in near simulated sex scenes. I asked Jerry about this later in the night, and he tried to explain that it’s not gay if punches are also being thrown. I think all the other guys in the room would have made similar statements if asked. If, like me, your BS meter is getting a suspicious reading from that statement, well…

This is Alessio Sakara from the weigh-in before UFC 70. Weigh-ins are indistinguishable from underwear photo shoots.

Bruce Weber directed this weigh-in of Rich Clementi

This move is actually called The Anaconda

I think this is called frottage

Another example of The Anaconda. That look of pain on his face tells you this isn’t gay.

This is what’s known as a power bottom

Honestly, these captions just write themselves at this point

I’m not going to harp on this too long, because a lot of straight guys don’t like being backed into a corner where they have to admit to themselves that they enjoy a little homoerotic display now and then. Personally I enjoyed the fight. And even though it’s an odd culture I can certainly appreciate it for what it is…soft core porn.

Note how girls are used in the background of the weigh-ins so that all those guys don’t feel completely gay for assembling to watch two UFC fighters strip down to their underwear…

So you see what I’m saying about this thinly veiled homoeroticism. I mean, I almost lost it last night when Joe Rogan started talking about how one fighter was “giving him the Anaconda from behind.” Ok.

Later in the night, some sort of tension developed about what to do after the fight was over. I’m not really sure how that started or what it was really about, but I ended up feeling a little uncomfortable about it.

Deanna and I headed back to the Governor’s Mansion where we decided to get a cab and meet Jerry out at a new bar for us called Bar Smith. It’s an interesting space next door to Burn, and we remarked how the crowd was a similar version of Scottsdale. After Jerry left just a little early due to an early work day he had planned, Deanna and I went next door to Burn where we were really surprised that they wanted us to pay $20 cover for the remaining hour that they would be open. So after nixing that idea, we walked to Seamus McCaffrey’s to have a few drinks with Daren.

So, there you have it. I’m going now to do some more UFC research…

Ok, well it’s getting to be that time of night where I just feel like spilling a lot of random things.

I’ve seen Mr. X twice since Saturday when we met at Burn. We’re going to lunch tomorrow. He’s totally hot, and really intelligent. So far I’ve only blogged about 2 Mr. X’s, and this is the second one. I really need to come up with a better anonymous naming system soon! I’m not really sure why things haven’t gone anywhere with the first Mr. X. Things were good, and then he was kind of evasive about going out again - I took that as a sign he wasn’t really interested. Hey, it happens!

It’s about midnight and I just wrapped up a meeting at my house with Rich and Mark. We reviewed the software functionality that’s been developed for our client over the past year, and discussed some plans for moving forward with new features. It’s fun to be able to work with friends, and I’m glad Mark is on board now as a part time consultant.

Last night I went to Seamus McCaffrey’s with Jerry and Daren. We walked from Jerry’s place, and I couldn’t help but to look up at the various highrise condo buildings under construction and wish I lived closer to downtown. The skyline is really changing down there lately with all the building projects. I’m not far where I’m at now, but I’m not close enough to walk to anything significant. It would be about a 5 minute drive to the downtown bars from my house - which isn’t that bad obviously - but I do like the walking from Jerry’s place. It would theoretically be possible to walk from my house, except that a bad neighborhood, a freeway, and about a 30 minute walk separate me from lower downtown. The 44 Monroe building is towering over Seamus McCaffrey’s and I almost wish I was able to sell my house right now to buy into that building while units are still left…not for the proximity to Seamus, but for the building’s amenities and proximity to bars and clubs I actually like.

Jerry and Daren at Seamus McCaffrey’s

I think I finally have settled on a car that I want…but it’s not quite available yet. It’s the BMW 328i hardtop convertible. I’m actually getting kind of anxious for a new car all of a sudden because the AC is out on my car, and I really don’t want to pour a bunch of money into fixing it. And it’s getting hot outside, fast! Well, I may actually need to fix it if this new car isn’t even at the dealer yet.

Sexy!

I’m not usualy one to get excited about cars, but this one may be the perfect fit for me. I’ve had my present car for almost 8 years, so I’m ready for a new one by now!

So I’ve talked about new dates, new house, new coworkers, new car…I guess that’s the theme for now. New.

Thursday I intended to get back to my workout program with Daren and Jerry, after taking a few days off after White Party to make sure my body properly recovers from the excitement of the weekend. But I decided at the last minute to take an extra day off, and instead headed out with Jerry and Daren for some drinks and adventure.

Jerry and Daren wanted to go to “The Armadillo” but I protested on account of a) that it’s a restaurant, and b) the last time I dove by the place they were advertising their “World Famous Fried Pickles.” Ha, I’m sure they’ll leave comments trying to convince me that it’s not a restaurant…but it is. The last few times they tried taking me to restaurant dive bars I have been less than pleased (yes I’m a little picky and stuck in my ways when it comes to night time drink venues), so I tried to spice things up by offering a night at Burn for the new Club Mistress event. After hearing the words “lesbian S&M” Jerry quickly agreed and we were on our way.

Upon passing Burn, we noted that there wasn’t much of a crowd yet, so we decided to go to “The Irish Bar” for a couple beers first.

Daren at Seamus McCaffrey’s pretending the stains in the ceiling aren’t there

After a couple beers and Jerry and Daren’s game of video bowling, we walked down to Burn. Burn was moderately attended for a Thursday, and after sharing some weekend stories with Angela some of the entertainment began.

See Daren, you shouldn’t have left early!

—

On Friday night, Philip and Rob got in town for pride weekend. Rob is the super nice guy that I met last weekend at the White Party, known to the rest of the gang since their trip to Montreal last year, who lives in London right now. So I went out with Rob, Philip, Rich and Justin to Burn again for drinks. We met up with Bruce and Tracy, and Mike and Nate for some casual talk, dancing and drinks.

Rob and Tracy

Mike and Nate

Rich

Justin, Travis and Philip

For the After-Burn, we went to Charlie’s for some dancing and pigging out on super nachos grande delux and carne asada burritos from the taco cart. As is typical with Charlie’s, the evening was a little awkward between confrontations with drunk queens and when I was slammed in the eye by the hat bill of a drunk mess plowing into the bathroom. Odd energy lives at Charlie’s, and I have no idea why I keep going back. Eh, live and learn.

So now it’s offiicially Pride weekend in Phoenix, and we’ll be headed out to the Adonis Party tonight at the Icehouse venue in downtown Phoenix. Interesting to note that my attendance at this party last year immediately precluded a breakup with my last boyfriend. I actually went last year by myself. So I’m glad that this year things are under different curcumstances, and I know I’ll have a good time with friends.

Many of you have argued with me in the past about my assertion that Evanescence is a Christian band - ok mostly Jerry, but the rest of you know who you are. In fact I don’t think anyone has ever agreed with me on this point. But today my Yahoo start page loads up, and they have a promo about Evanescence’s new video…Sweet Sacrifice. Oh please! It is so glaringly obvious to that Evanescence is a Christian band (my first tipoff was all the Christian-oriented lyrics) that I decided to do a little research.

Evanescence was originally promoted as a Christian band, in Christian stores. In fact Evanescence started out as an “underground independent group in the Christian Music scene” before being signed. In a 2000 interview with guitarist Ben Moody, he was quoted as saying “the message we as a band want to convey more than anything is simple - God is Love…We hope to express in our music that Christianity is not a rigid list of rules to follow only out of fear…”

After the success of Fallen, the band supposedly (according to their label) suddenly decided that they wanted to be considered mainstream (secular). So in an effort to push the band out of the Christian genre, their label recalled all albums from Christian stores, Christian radio, and Christian charts - which was once intended to be their primary market. Read the Christian Music Central story here.

Evanescence’s about face seems to have started with some bizarre comments made to the media in an interview published by Entertainment Weekly. Their (Christian) label seems to have been so embarassed by the comments, that they instantly went to work rebranding Evanescence as a secular band, to avoid any damage to the genre as a whole. Read the Rolling Stone article here.

To be fair, Evanescence no longer wishes to be considered a Christian Band, and most likely realizes that it would now be a tragedy for the band to be reclassified to the Christian genre. In 2006, Amy Lee was asked about the band’s Christian reputation, to which she responded “Can we please skip the Christian thing? I’m so over it. It’s the lamest thing. I fought that from the beginning; I never wanted to be associated with it. It was a Ben thing. It’s over. It’s a new day.” Read the Billboard interview here. In another interview, she tries to deflect negative press by saying “There are people hell-bent on the idea we’re a Christian band in disguise, and that we have some secret message…[our music is] simply about life experience.”

To fight this image further, a website has been set up called Evanescence Is Not A Christian Band. Surprisingly, this website was set up by the same person who designed the websites for the Tacoma Christian Reformed Church and the Northwest Mercy Ministries.

The bottom line? Evanescence was a Christian band for a long time until they embarrased their Christian label with bizarre un-Christian comments, and got dropped from the genre almost overnight. This may or may not have been a stunt in order to get them solidly into the mainstream alternative genre, where they are clearly more profitable and influential. However, their music continues with strong Christian proselitizing undertones that largely go unnoticed by the general population.

Likely a testament to how hard I’ve been working out lately, tonight I simply craved the thickest and rarest steak I could get my hands on. I interpreted this as a sign that my body needed protein for some serious muscle building, so I gave in and headed to Safeway where I bought a couple choice top sirloins. I threw one on the grill, but only for long enough to get it warm and juicy.

Exquisite…lemon flakes performed admirably (as they always do) as I sliced and stabbed my way to heaven. Rare, soft and juicy, and just perfect. A perfect finish to my evening of running a mile and working out in the gym.

I’ve been working out fairly regularly for about 6 weeks now. I’m starting to see some real results, and it has me excited since I think I may be in the best shape I’ve been in for a few years. That’s both physically and mentally. Funny how both efforts have been actually very closely tied together.

Working out with Jerry and Daren has been really fun…and there’s actually a lot more involved to our evenings than just the workouts. We’ll also often go out to a bar or two afterward (or hang out at Jerry’s loft), drink some beer, and hang out and bs with one another. Steve also started hanging out with us, and we always have a good time. Talk about dates, significant others, work, etc. Jerry describes this as his new fraternity, and that’s a fairly accurate description of how it feels.

Hanging out with Rich, Justin, Philip and Bernard is a very similar fraternal part of my life lately. I am impressed, and humbled, by what strong bonds exist within this circle. And deciding to do some of the party curcuit with them this year is what’s motivating me to stick with those workouts, stick to my diet, and what had motivated me last year to finally give up smoking.

I’m not quite where I want to be yet, but I know my goals are achievable and right around the corner. So, cheers to all of you that help. My shoulders are looking better, but what’s on top of them is feeling pretty good, too.